进进外语寰宇

    中国家庭并不常用电话答录机（Answering Machine）,但在北美家庭，几乎家家都用。外来电话拨进时，若该电话号码的主人不在，就会让拨进者听到一段留言，这叫Answer。尽年夜年夜都的Answer都是陈腐不雅观点的：申明主人不在，请拨进者留下冗长信息及姓名电话号码等。以下几则分外的 Answer 表现了美国佬的诙谐，你能了解出其诙谐地点吗？ 同时，自己希看读者能闻一知十，从美国家庭电话留言中学到一些有效的东西，从而可以使用到商务电话留言当中来：

    1) My wife and I can’t come to the phone right now, but if you’ll leave your name and number, we’ll get back to you as soon as we’re finished.

    2) Hi. This is John. If you are the phone company, I already sent the money. If you are my parents, please send money. If you are my financial aid institution, you didn’t lend me enough money. If you are my friends, you owe me money. If you are a female, don’t worry, I have plenty of money.

    3) Hi, I’m not home right now but my answering machine is, so you can talk to it instead. Wait for the beep（beep：主人的Answer讲完今后，Answer Machine会发出一声beep, 这时候来电话者就可以开始留言了。）.

    4) Hi! John’s answering machine is broken. This is his refrigerator. Please speak very slowly, and I’ll stick your message to myself with one of these magnets（磁铁）.

    注：每每情况下，来电话者面临灌音发言都不太天然，所以说话频频很急促，三句两句话就完了。这可苦坏了接听留言的主人，听多少遍都听不清留言者究竟是谁，讲了些什么。关于母语非英文的人，这种感受会更深。所以，以下这两段诙谐爽性就首先通知电话拨进者，我的Answer Machine欠好使，你且徐徐来。

    5) Hello, this is Sally’s microwave. Her answering machine just eloped（私奔） with her tape deck（磁带驱动器）, so I’m stuck with taking her calls. Say, if you want anything cooked while you leave your message, just hold it up to the phone.

    6） Hello, you are talking to a machine. I am capable of receiving messages. My owners do not need siding（墙板，壁板）, windows, or a hot tub（浴盆）, and their carpets are clean. They give to charity（慈善团体） through their office and do not need their picture taken. If you’re still with me, leave your name and number and they will get back to you.

    7） Hi. I am probably home. I’m just avoiding someone I don’t like. Leave me a message, and if I don’t call back, it’s you.

    8） This is not an answering machine -- this is a telepathic（心灵感到术） thought- recording device. After the tone, think about your name, your reason for calling and a number where I can reach you, and I’ll think about returning your call.

    注：tone：与对第3）句beep 的注释含义完全一样，主人的Answer讲完今后，Answer Machine会发出一声beep, 这时候来电话者就可以开始留言了。

    9) Hi, this is George. I’m sorry I can’t answer the phone right now. Leave a message, and then wait by your phone until I call you back.

    6) Hello, you are talking to a machine. I am capable of receiving messages. My owners do not need siding（墙板，壁板）, windows, or a hot tub（浴盆）, and their carpets are clean. They give to charity（慈善团体） through their office and do not need their picture taken. If you’re still with me, leave your name and number and they will get back to you.

    10) If you are a burglar(夜贼), then we’re probably at home cleaning our weapons right now and can’t come to the phone. Otherwise, we probably aren’t home and it’s safe to leave us a message.

    11) You’re growing tired. Your eyelids(眼皮) are getting heavy. You feel very sleepy now. You are gradually losing your willpower(毅力) and your ability to resist suggestions. When you hear the tone you will feel helplessly compelled to(感到无助而IT做某事) leave your name, number, and a message.

    12) Please leave a message. However, you have the right to remain silent. Everything you say will be recorded and will be used by us.

    注：you have the right to remain silent：片子电视里IT出示逮捕令时常讲的一句话。东方社会讲求人权，任何疑犯在未审讯之前不得以为有罪，因此不能逼供、更不可拷打：他们有权连结缄默。

    13) Hello, you’ve reached Jim and Sonya. We can’t pick up the phone right now, because we’re doing something we really enjoy. Sonya likes doing it up and down, and I like doing it left to right ... real slowly. So leave a message, and when we’re done brushing our teeth, we’ll get back to you.

    电话英语之报价篇

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