经典：四六级写作典范错误出色点评
为匡助列位网友更好地备考英语四六级作文测验，特对四六级写作存在的典范错误用例文举行出色点评。因为下面一些例文中错误较多，点评时只是列举了部分的典范错误，并且为了连结原文面容，编纂没有做过多的窜改，所以接待巨匠一同来挑错，有题目一同讨论。
1. Women are playing an increasingly important part in society today.________
2. With the changes in their social role, women’s position in the family has been improved as well. ______
3. In spite of these changes, the liberation of women has not been completely realized. __
例1．（2分段）
Women are playing an increasingly important part in society today. Long age, women only did something in the kitchen or at home. Now many of them have serious jobs to serve for people. What men can do so can women.
With the changes in their social role, women’s position in the family has been improved as well. Today in the family, the wife often lots her husband to do something at home bat ago, only women did something. Men are foned of doing something at home.
In spite of these changes, the liberation of women has not been completely realized. Sometimes, the matter, the husband hitting has welf, often happened. In the factory the wonmen to as much as the men, but they are paid less than the men. Some people have not completely realized the liberation of women.
东方教诲点评：条理不清，思绪杂乱，年夜部分句子均有错误，有的乃至影响了解。详细题目理会如下：
(1)缺乏逻辑，东一句西一句，没有环绕中央论述，如第一段就没有展开论述妇女社会脚色的窜改，说得太笼统而缺乏压服力。
（2）用汉语思想，句子有清楚的汉语陈迹，如“What men can do so can women.”，应改为“Women can do what men can do”。
（3）衔接不天然，没有效得当的联系干系词，如“Sometimes, the matter, the husband hitting has welf, often happened”，应改为“The case that husband hits his wife often happens.”
（4）拼写错误良多，年夜部分句子均有错误。
例2．（5分段）
Women are playing an increasingly important part in society today. In today, many women have a work. They worked as well as men playing an important part in factories. There are many women in government also. They lead other people country, and make out plans. There are many scientist slso. They event new things to improve our life.
With the changes in their social role, women’s position in the family has been improved as well. In ancient, women’s position in family is pity. They had to looks after their children, did every how husband ordered her to do. But now it is changed. They are equal to her husband. They have the right of speaking of idea, discussion thing with her husband, do what she wants to do.In spite of these changes, the liberation of women has not been completely realized. We also should realize, women’ likerty are limited. For example, many factories want men become its workers but the chance of women is less than men. Everyone should do their best to change this condition. I’m sure, the liberation of women would be increased.东方教诲点评：根基离题。但表达思惟不清晰，连接性差。有较多的重要说话错误。详细题目理会：（1）各段环绕中央句论述不深进，没有压服力。
（2）衔接不天然，没有效得当的联系干系词，如第一段几个句子之间可以用一些“besides”、“on the other hand”、“furthermore”、“in addition”等。
（3）说话错误较多，良多句子不疏浚，如“In today, many women have a work.”应改为“Today, many women get a job.”(滥用介词)；“In ancient, women’s position in family is pity”中pity应改为pitiful（词形误用）等有多处错误。
例3．（8分段）
Women are playing an increasingly important part in society today. Many Women today are playing an important part at works that was thought only could be done by the men before. For an example. Some women are not secrtary in the office, instead, they become manager of a company.
With the changes in their social role, women’s position in the family has been improved as well. In the world today, more and more women have their own job. They get their own salary, and become more independent from their husband. With the economic situation improved, their family position is improving.
In spite of these changes, the liberation of women has not been completely realized. Many husbands only want his wife to stay at home, and do house works or do some shopping. They only want their wife to be a housewife, but not a manager of a company.
东方教诲点评：根基离题。有些中央表达思惟不敷清晰，笔墨勉强连接；说话错误相称多，其中有一些是重要错误。详细题目理会：
（1）论证不敷深进，缺少事例，缺少压服力。
（2）笔墨缺连接、且显负担，如第二段可以把各句再改得简练一点并且有得当的转承词。
（3）说话错误相称多，如“For an example”，“Some women are not secrtary in the office, instead, they become manager of a company.”应改为“Some women are on longer secretaries in the office, instead, they become managers of the companies.”（单双数）
例4．（11分段）
Women are playing an increasingly important part in society today. More and more women go to work to earn money instead of keeping the house or looking after the children. Women have entered many fields of society including scientific field. As we know, many women sports teams have won the world’s champions such as Chinese women’s Volleyball Team.
With the changes in their social role, women’s position in the family has been improved as well. Husbands are not the masters of wives in many places. Husbands and wives are equal now. They join together to overcome difficulties and share happiness.
In spite of these changes, the liberation of women has not been completely realized. Also in some places. Women are considered being“thing” belong to men. They have little chance to find jobs. They don’t get equal pay for equal job. This is a problem must be solved not only by society but also by women themselves.
东方教诲点评：离题。表达思惟清晰，笔墨连接，用词比较准确，但有大批说话错误，如“Also in some places. Women are considered being“thing” belong to men”，应改为“Also in some places，women are considered being the“things”that belong to men”
例5．（14分段）
Women are playing an increasingly important part in society today. In Many countries, more and more women are acting as workers, farmers, scientists and even leaders. We can say that almost all jobs which men can do are done perfectly by women. Women are no longer looked down upon by society.
With the changes in their social role, women’s position in the family has been improved as well. Husband and wife are now equal in the family. They cope with problems of daily life together, and share happiness with each ther. Also, you can hardly find out that in today’s families, women are being busy with dinners, whereas men comfortably sitting in armchairs, reading newsITs.In spite of these changes, the liberation of women has not been completely realized. In spite of these changes, the liberation of women has not been completely realized. A number of men still jealously guard their rights, and regard women as incapable creature. Few women are allowed to attend important international meetings dominated by men. That’s really the problems we should solve immediately.东方教诲点评：离题。论证充沛，有压服力，论证手腕丰硕（举例、正反）表达思惟清晰，说话流畅，词汇丰硕，连接性好。用词准确，仅有一般小错误。
关键字：英语四六级写作 四六级积年写作范文 经典广告点评 马云经典点评 经典片子点评